Wednesday, June 10, 2009


There are three major decisions your child faces that tower above all the other decisions they’ll ever make. You as a parent must have an ever-present awareness of these pending decisions. You must battle to keep them in the proper order. I deal with adults on a regular basis who are discouraged and feel “trapped” in life. Why? Because they made three life changing decisions without considering the importance of those decisions and the proper order for making they. Here are the three decisions I’m talking about and their correct order. I call them the “Big Three.”


God’s desire is for parents to lead their children to salvation and a life yielded to Christ. Yes, a surrendered life where “Jesus is Lord” in the life of the child. Without this being accomplished very few will make good decisions on the next two.

Secondly, God wants us to train our children according to their bent. (Spiritual gifts, physical gifts, personality, life experiences, motivational desires, etc.) We are to prepare them for an adult life that fulfills God’s individual purpose for them. This includes them having proper preparation to be good spouses, parents, church members, and neighbors. Each child should have been trained in a vocational skill. If God chooses for them to be a family of one they should have the skills necessary to provide for themselves.

Once these two areas are accomplished then, and only then, should our attention turn toward finding a life mate. Relationships between opposite sexes that become emotionally or romantically dependent in the teen years have become a normal way of life in the world. It’s robbing our youth of virtue. It’s depleting the motivation for God’s preparation of a life lived seeking Him first. Don’t make that mistake with your children. Keep them focused on number one and two. There will be plenty of time for courtship later. The time to lay down this expectation is when your children are very young. Four years old isn’t too early. You should reinforce this concept all the way up to and through the teen years. It will take alertness, diligence, wisdom and prayer on your part but our children are worth the effort.

These three decisions are more important than the issues of “did they make the team?” or “do they have a driver’s license?” Please parents – Get the order right for the sake of your precious children. Lordship – Life-work – Life-mate.

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